About the Good Shepherd and Me

The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. Habakkuk 3:19NLV

I chose the Name Good Shepherd because the name God and Jesus meant horrible things when I was growing up. I wanted to believe that there was a “God” out there that was kind and loving. Calling Him The Good Shepherd was my way of picturing a God that loved me and that I had the freedom to come to without fear. Satan still wanted me to believe that God was angry with me and hated me! That He was still this supreme being in a black robe just waiting for me to mess up so He could hit me with a big club, or tell others to punish me because He saw how bad I was.

While I was still struggling to see who the Good Shepherd really is my therapist asked me to read the book Hind’s Feet On High Places by Hanna Hurnard. It is a metaphorical novel that traces the steps of the main character, Much-Afraid, from a frightened, deformed lost soul to a beautiful, spiritually connected joyful being. She faces countless seemingly impossible obstacles in her journey. She lives in the Valley of Humiliation as an unwilling member of the Family of Fearings who attempt to keep her from becoming a shepherdess for the Chief Shepherd. I believe this book was a turning point for me in learning who the Good Shepherd really is.

I was leaving the fears I had always known and starting on a journey with the Good Shepherd to become a new creation. There were several times I felt the He was not taking me where I thought I should go, especially when it seemed we were going around in circles and I couldn’t see what was ahead of me. The path He was leading me on was filled with sorrow and suffering.  All my pain and turmoil seemed so BIG compared to Him. There were many times I felt like I was standing in the middle of a hurricane calling out for Him and it seemed like He could not hear me. Often I wondered when would this journey be over!

He gently reminded me I needed to trust Him even when the path seemed to be going the wrong way and I needed to rest in His truth that I was under His care. Just like Much-Afraid the Good Shepherd wanted to change me from a frightened and deformed lost soul to a beautiful, spiritually connected joyful being! He wanted to help me overcome my mountains and push my soul to a height I never before thought possible! I was able to overcome the evil, tribulation, sorrows and pain of my past and transform them all by placing myself in the hands of the Good Shepherd. I wanted to be able to live my life here on earth on the high places of love and victory as promised by the Good Shepherd.

The Good Shepherd taught me how to battle fear, anguish, and harm. I learned about forgiveness and about love. He turned my weakness into strength, my fear into faith, my hate into compassion, and the parts of me that were marred into perfections. He told me that the love I had for Him and knowing and believing the love He had for me would get me through this journey. By walking with Him He as shown me a deeper place of dependence on Him.

Getting to know who the true Good Shepherd is and how extravagant His love is for me was so overwhelming! He gave me the courage I needed to complete my journey. For the first time in my life having the Good Shepherd in my heart did not mean that I had to be strong and perfect. It was no longer about Religion and Hypocrisy. I was learning about a Relationship and Spirituality. I was finally realizing the Good Shepherd loved me just for me! I was starting to feel contentment for the first time in my life. I was finally starting to think differently.

After Much-Afraid is healed she is given a new name, Grace & Glory. She was ready to go back to the Valley below where she sees her relatives living in their isolation and slaves to their fears. She desires to share with them all that the Shepherd has given her. With her hinds feet she leaps down the mountain with her Shepherd and returns to the valley where she will be a witness to His greatness!

Hinds feet for me is my testimony of healing. I was crippled with the pain of my abuse when I started on my journey and now He has transformed my heart with His love so I can see others hurts and pain and allow the Good Shepherd to love them through me. The Good Shepherd will lead us to the High Places, and He will not lead us astray! His unconditional love desires and achieves the best for those who love Him and are faithful.

I want the Good Shepherd to show me the people in MY village that He wants me to see through His heart and eyes.