Nobody is a Nobody

Every time I get ready to write in this blog I ask, “Ok Good Shepherd, what are we writing about today?”  And sometimes I wished I had never asked. I still struggle with every personal thing I write in this blog. I am a more of a sit back and watch kind of person, not a share my most personal and private feelings with everyone person. Sometimes I start writing thinking I am going in one direction and what actually ends up on paper is totally different. In a way that is kind of awesome because I know He is with me while I’m writing,  but on the other hand it is still pretty scary because He is leading me in a direction that I am unfamiliar with, so I am learning to trust Him at a whole new level.

How many people do you think feels like they are a nobody or invisible? How many people do you see everyday smiling and looking like they have it all together and don’t even suspect that they might be feeling like a nobody and invisible? Maybe you are one of them?

From the first day of kindergarten until the last day of High School, I felt like a nobody. Why didn’t people like me? Why did they make fun of me. Was it because I didn’t have the latest style clothes? Did they turn their backs and look the other way when I walked by because I was to ugly to look at? Most of the time I kept my hand on the side of my face trying to hide my ugly nobody self. There would be times when overwhelming sadness would come over me. I’m not good enough to be loved. Would anyone notice if I disappeared for good? If they did notice, would they be relieved I was not here anymore? Am I important to anyone? I feel like I am watching all these people walk by and wondering does anybody notice me?

I went to school many years ago, and a lot has changed since then, but one thing that has not changed is that there are still a lot of people who feel like they are nobodies. I remember in grade school a fellow class mate killed himself by hanging himself. I always thought he felt like a nobody too, because he sat on the play ground during recess alone like me. I even saw him cry once when the other kids made fun of him. These were the same kids that made fun of me, spit on me, and beat me up everyday when I would walk to and from school.

This poem “Invisible Girl” by Hannah Diane Williams describes how I felt so well.

I am drifting through this life
with no one to listen or care.


I am walking through this crowd, No smiles, Only mindless stares.

I only seem to speak
when someone else is talking.


I'm supposed to be the 'good' kid
even though no one wants to listen.

I'm the one that's always forgotten, always picked last.


I'm the one you pick on, the one you call stupid
because I’m not as smart as you are.

The one you call ugly and fat
because I don't meet your 'standards', 
I'm the loner you see...
No one sits with me, 
And no one wants me here.


I'm always in the way....
No one cares about what I have to say.


I'm not important you see.
I'm NEVER anyone's first choice, 
And there's no one to love me.


I might as well not be here
because I'm the invisible girl.

Being a pastors daughter I went to church every Sunday and heard how you are never alone and you’re somebody because Jesus is always beside you and He will never leave you. But, with the secrets within our home that really didn’t mean much to me. The (God) (Jesus) I knew was glad I was a nobody and told people to stay away from me because I would just wear them down and burden them. I still continued to feel like a nobody even after I was married and had children.

As I begin to learn about who the Good Shepherd really is, I started discovering not only was I accepted, I was valuable! (Really?)  I started thinking “could I really receive and believe what I was being told? Could it really be true?” I wanted so bad to feel like I fit in somewhere and be accepted. Even though I was now an adult I still didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I still felt insignificant and invisible.

I really like what Rick Warren, in his devotional Daily Hope, wrote about a persons value to the Good Shepherd.

Two things determine value:

1 How much is someone willing to pay for something

2. Who has owned something in the past

Based on these two things ‘who owns me?’ and ‘what was paid for me?’

1 Corinthians 7:23 (TLB) says: “You have been bought and paid for by Christ, so you belong to him-be free now from all these earthly prides and fears.”  You belong to God and Jesus paid for you with his life.  The cross proves your value. Nobody has every paid a greater ransom price that God paid for you! You’re acceptable, and you’re valuable.

We are NOT an accidental combination of wandering neutrons & protons. We did not evolve out of some slime at random. We were planned and designed on the drawing board of His love.
We have the Good Shepherds handiwork written all over us! We are made complex and elaborately! He made our unique personalities. There is no one else exactly like us in the whole universe. We are the object of His heart’s desire. He created us in His image.

Satan is still trying to convince people that they are unloved and worthless. That they are Nobodies!  I want you to know that in His eyes, it doesn’t matter what you have done, who you are, how low or high your holdings are in the eyes of the world. He loves you!  The Good Shepherd is thinking about you. He is thinking about your decisions; your fears; the concerns you’re carrying. The Good Shepherd does not miss the struggles you’re facing or the temptations that are coming at you.

You will never lose your value in the Good Shepherd’s eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely ceased, you are still priceless to Him!